After a breakup, it can be really difficult to regain your confidence and start dating again. However, it is definitely possible for you to find happiness and the big D word won’t always hang over you. The trick is to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start again. You have learned a lot from your previous relationships and just because this one ended in divorce doesn’t mean it was a total disaster. Understanding each relationship as a learning curve rather than a final destination is one of the biggest changes you can make to how you see yourself and how you pursue further relationships. So, what should you do first?
Pick Yourself Up
Before you can start looking after someone else, you have to learn to look after yourself. Getting into good, healthy habits and quitting your bad ones is a good place to start. For example, smoking is really bad for you and will put lots of potential dates off. Switching to vaping and gradually quitting by reducing the nicotine in the e-liquid you get from the vape shop is a brilliant way to take control of your addiction.
But looking after yourself is about more than eating well and quitting your bad habits. You should also rebuild your self-confidence. Doing the things you love and socializing more will really help with this. Opening yourself up and allowing yourself to be vulnerable will also help you build positive relationships.
Practice The Art of Dating
Dating is a skill – you can learn to be good at it but you have to practice! You don’t need to advertise the fact that you’re out of practice or that you are going on a date because you simply want the experience. All this does is acknowledge that the next person you meet can teach you something about dating and that you don’t have to meet them and immediately worry about whether marriage is on the cards.
Taking the pressure off dating and making it fun is essential. One of the main reasons that dates go badly is that you go with high expectations your date couldn’t possibly meet. So, to make your dating experience more fun, the best approach is to go with a view to see what might happen, rather than what you want to happen. Be honest in your approach and allow your relationship to develop organically.
What Are You Waiting On? Get Out There!
Putting yourself out there is hard but once you do, you’ll find it’s not that different to dating before you were married. Ask around your friends for recommendations, try going to new social activities and making some more friends… and you might even give online dating a go.
The most important thing to remember is that you are allowed to go at your own speed. Don’t rush into another serious relationship if it doesn’t feel right. However, don’t shut yourself away either – baby steps are better than no steps at all. There’s a whole wide world of wonderful people out there and you won’t meet them sat alone at home!